The first time I laid my eyes on her. I knew she was the one. She was beautiful beyond measure, and had the sweetest smile. Her hair was the mostly beautiful color, it was brown and it seemed to curl for days. Her eyes were the richest brown color I had ever seen, they looked like brown agates. Her nose was the cutest I had ever seen. Her lips were voluptuous and seemed to always be smiling.
I had taken notice of her when I started college. She was in my biology class, she always seemed to know the answers to all the questions. One day, I decided to talk to her. Talking to her for the first time was the boldest thing I had ever done. I was the most nervous I had ever been.
I introduced myself and ask her for her name, she giggled and said “Carmen”. Her voice was the most perfect thing I had ever heard. We started talking and we found out we had a lot in common. We both loved the same authors, music and to my surprise, video games.
We became close friends and I loved spending my time with her. We always talked about the future and every time I became sad, she always knew how to cheer me up. She always told me to smile, because life was beautiful. I was originally attracted to her because of her beauty but the more I got to know her, the more I fell in love.After years of friendship, I decided to tell her how I really felt.
It was too late, the night I went to tell her, I found her dead in her bathtub. She had committed suicide. Even after knowing her for all these years, I didn’t see the pain she was in. The funeral was beautiful, only close friends and family.
I wish I had told her how I felt earlier, maybe she would have shared all her feelings with me. Maybe I would have seen the pain. Maybe she would still be here. These things will remain maybes. She didn’t leave a letter explaining why.
She left a single sticky note that said, “Keep living, Be Happy, Life is Beautiful”.
I think that was her mantra, what she told herself all the time to try and ease the pain she was in. Even in the last hour of her life, she cared more about others than herself.
I will never know if she loved me back, but what I do know, is that I should have told her sooner. Don’t delay telling the people you care about how you feel. You might not get the chance to do so in the future.